Audacious Act #4: Make Peace with Disappointing People
By Stevi Gable Carr
Founder and CEO
WISe Wellness Guild
Who are you afraid to disappoint?
This question often reveals more about our leadership than our goals or achievements ever could. As leaders, we strive for harmony, excellence, and approval. But here’s an audacious truth: meaningful leadership inevitably involves disappointing others.
In my experience, leaders who drive lasting change do so not by pleasing everyone but by prioritizing authenticity over approval. By striving to avoid disappointment, we risk betraying ourselves and diluting our impact.
Making peace with disappointing people isn’t an invitation to neglect relationships—it’s permission to honor your boundaries, values, and vision. It’s about choosing clarity and integrity, even when that choice creates friction. Leadership rooted in honesty often invites resistance, but it also generates trust and loyalty from those who matter most.
Consider Simone Biles, who stepped away from Olympic competition, prioritizing her mental health over public expectations. Her decision disappointed millions initially, yet inspired countless others to prioritize their wellbeing (Time Magazine). Simone’s leadership wasn’t diminished by disappointment—it was amplified by courage. Then, something incredible happened- she returned to win several medals at the Paris Olympics.
In 2023, Makiko Ono became the first woman CEO of Suntory Beverage & Food, marking a significant milestone in Japan's corporate landscape. Despite early career setbacks due to traditional corporate norms limiting women's opportunities, Ono persevered, becoming the company's first female expatriate and later leading major marketing initiatives. As CEO, she emphasized empowering her team and fostering an environment where members could excel, embodying Suntory's "don't give up" philosophy. Her leadership style and commitment to internationalizing the company have been recognized globally, highlighting her resilience and dedication to her principles.
Photo of Makiko Ono
Courtesy of Fortune Magazine
The cost of constantly pleasing others is higher than you realize. It erodes your clarity, drains your energy, and weakens your leadership. The truth is, people-pleasing doesn’t make you effective—it makes you exhausted.
Disappointing others means embracing temporary discomfort for lasting alignment. Choose to set boundaries, communicate transparently, prioritize long-term vision, and recognize that true supporters value your authenticity over their comfort.
Psychological studies support this shift. Research in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience notes that discomfort in disappointing others can cause leaders to compromise their values (Frontiers). This aligns with broader findings from Psychology Today, which link chronic people-pleasing with anxiety, self-neglect, and reduced job satisfaction..
By making peace with the idea that you cannot—and should not—please everyone, you reclaim your agency and refocus your leadership around purpose, not performance.
Actionable Step: Identify one boundary you need to set clearly this week. Communicate it transparently to someone who may be disappointed by your decision. Observe the results and reflect on whether the outcome aligned more with your values or your fears.
True leadership is not a destination—it’s a journey that begins with a single, courageous step. That step often starts with a conversation—one where you’re ready to explore your challenges, opportunities, and growth areas. By scheduling a discovery call, you’re not just taking the first step toward greater leadership, you’re committing to a deeper understanding of how your unique values and vision can shape your impact. This conversation is the key to unlocking your full potential, aligning your actions with your goals, and creating the kind of leadership that drives meaningful change. Let’s connect and begin building the future of your leadership today.
